Funerals and Memorials

If you're working with a funeral director, you probably won't need to also contact the church or cemetery yourself. Funeral directors will usually do that for you to make the initial arrangements. They will also help you to prepare and publish an obituary, which serves as a public announcement of death and any services which may be attended by anyone wishing to pay their respects. These services typically include the following:

• A vigil (wake, visiting hours) at the funeral home or church.
• A funeral Mass or a prayer service without Mass.
• Rite of Committal (burial or interment) at a cemetery, at sea, or in another suitable place.

Please try to designate one person as a representative for working with funeral directors and parish leaders. This helps to keep communication smooth and consistent.

Please be aware that, while funeral directors know how to coordinate with Catholic clergy and parish staff, they don't usually have our expertise in understanding all of the religious options, including what is and is not permitted. While we prefer to discuss your needs and concerns with you personally, we also offer the following questions and answers as a basic guide:

Who may receive the Catholic funeral rites?  Most of the rituals in the Order of Christian Funerals may be celebrated for the repose of any baptized Catholic. There are also ritual prayers that may be applied to non-Catholics. The clergy will work with you or with the funeral director to determine which options are most appropriate for the deceased and offer guidance in making decisions.

What if the person who died wanted no religious services or wanted something unusual?  At OLGC Parish, we do our best to respect the wishes of someone who has died. If you have concerns about the express wishes of the deceased, or if there is something asked of the Church that we can't agree to, we will try to offer suitable and agreeable options. Even if the rituals known as the "funeral rites" aren't celebrated, we usually encourage some form of prayer and reflection for those who are mourning. Also, anyone may at any time request that a Mass be offered for the benefit of the deceased. Please let us know how we can help.

Is cremation permitted by the Catholic Church?  Yes, cremation is allowed, as long as it doesn't imply a rejection of Christian belief in the eventual resurrection of the body. When possible, it's preferred that the body of the deceased be kept intact and present for the funeral rites leading up to final interment or burial. However, we recognize that this isn't always possible or practical.

Is the scattering of ashes, keeping them in jewelry, or commingling them with other remains permitted by the Catholic Church?  No, these practices aren't in keeping with Catholic tradition. While cremation is generally allowed, the cremated remains of a person should not be scattered or divided, but placed in a sealed container that will be buried or interred in a sacred place. (This may include burial at sea, which involves submerging the container rather than scattering its contents on the water.) We understand that these disallowed practices have become popular in recent years and are even valued by some cultures. However, the Church requires that cremated remains (cremains, ashes) be treated with the same respect that one would show for an intact human body. We are happy to discuss this if you wish and offer you alternatives to anything we can't agree to.

The funeral rites of the Church are rituals that are adapted to the particular circumstances of the deceased and the people who gather in prayer and remembrance. The three primary rites that may be celebrated after death are:

• Vigil for the Deceased (wake/visitation) - usually in a funeral home or other gathering place.
• Funeral Mass (or a liturgy without Mass) - ordinarily in a parish church.
• Rite of Committal (burial or interment) - at the final resting place of the deceased.

Minimally, the Rite of Committal should be celebrated if possible. If all three are used, it's customary to celebrate the Vigil on the day before the funeral Mass and the Rite of Committal immediately after the Mass.

There are other rites that may be celebrated in place of the Vigil or in addition to it.

The Funeral Mass is the principal celebration of the funeral rites. It has the following parts:

Greeting and Entrance Procession
Opening Prayer
First Reading from Sacred Scripture
Responsorial Psalm
Second Reading (may be omitted)
Gospel and Homily (proclaimed by a priest or deacon)
Universal Prayer (Prayer of the Faithful)
* Offertory (presentation of bread and wine)
* Eucharistic Prayer
* Communion Rite
* Prayer after Communion
Final Commendation / Farewell
Procession

On days when a funeral Mass can't be celebrated, or if circumstances suggest that the celebration not include Holy Communion, the funeral liturgy outside of Mass may be celebrated instead, omitting the parts marked with a *. While it's usually celebrated in a church, it may also be celebrated elsewhere at the discretion of the minister and if the Vigil for the Deceased takes place on an earlier date.

Whether or not a funeral Mass is celebrated, Mass may always be offered for the deceased at a later time. Ordinarily, this is done by simply requesting that an intention for the deceased be applied to one of the parish's regularly scheduled Masses. This may also be done by arranging a memorial Mass, which is the same as a funeral Mass but without the presence of a body or cremains.

Planning funeral Masses and memorial Masses:

A funeral Mass is celebrated prior to the burial or interment of the deceased (the Committal). A memorial Mass has the same structure and planning needs, but is celebrated without the presence of a body or cremated remains.

Family and friends of the deceased are encouraged to have an active role in both planning the Mass and participating in it. In particular, they may select and proclaim the readings from Sacred Scripture that precede the Gospel. They may also help compose and lead the Universal Prayer (also known as the Prayer of the Faithful) that follows the presider's homily. Guided by the parish's music director, they may select hymns, a responsorial psalm, and other sacred music for the celebration. Up to four volunteers may bring up the gifts of bread and wine as the altar is prepared for the Eucharist. And one person may optionally give a brief presentation in remembrance of the deceased.

Some guidelines for the words of remembrance:

• May be given at the beginning or end of the funeral celebration.
• Should be prepared in advance, in writing and not much longer than five minutes.
• Given the religious setting, please focus on the faith life and relationships of the deceased and avoid any stories or language that would not be appropriate for church.
• We understand that these guidelines are restrictive. Please consider other opportunities when words of remembrance or an eulogy may be shared more freely, such as in a funeral home, at the cemetery, or in a less formal gathering with family and friends.

Father Gregory, Lori, and other members of our community are happy to guide you through all of the preparations and offer solutions to any concerns you might have. Lori will help you plan the music for the funeral Mass (or a liturgy without Mass in the church), including the Responsorial Psalm. The readings from Scripture and the Universal Prayer may be selected using the following guides:

Readings for funeral and memorial liturgies

Guide for composing the Universal Prayer

Coming soon:  a form for planning the Mass at Our Lady of Good Counsel Parish (St. Theresa Church or St. Augustine Chapel).